Why? - Matts Story

Date Published 11 November 2019

Matt reflects on his first week in training... with some school boy errors!

I was sat at home reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson and read the line `Imagine that somebody puts a gun to your head and tells you that you have to run 26.2 miles in under five hours, or else he`ll kill you and your entire family.` I think you`ll agree this isn`t a great thought and whilst no one has put a gun to my head I have, for some bizarre reason, decided to partake in my first marathon and there`s one question I cannot answer – Why?! I`m sure once I (hopefully) cross the finish line I`ll still be asking that very same question, just a little more breathlessly.
As a novice runner, it seems every time I complete my longest run and go that little bit farther, I learn something new. I recently finished my first 10 mile run and as the soft computerised voice talked over my music `Distance: 10 miles, Time: one hour thirty minutes` a wave of relief washed over my entire body and I slowly came a halt on the rain-soaked seafront promenade. The relief wasn`t because my legs hurt and I could now collapse and rest, it wasn`t because I was wetter than an otter`s pocket and would now be able to dry off, it was because I knew I`d soon be back home and able to Google `how to soothe searing nipple pain after running`. My Google search returned many helpful suggestions, and some very weird ones (including images that will haunt me for life), but a liberal application of Vaseline seemed to be the most common answer. Before reaching for a tub of petroleum jelly I thought I`d quickly hop in the shower – This was a HUGE mistake. Quite why I hadn`t realised that hot water plus red raw nipples would equal excruciating pain I don`t know, but I didn`t, and it does. I jumped out of the shower like a scalded cat and sat in the bathroom, a quivering wreck, with that unanswered question running (yes, pun intended) through my mind again – Why?
Maybe over the next few months I`ll find the answer. In the meantime, if you`d like to share your reasons why then please do.