Why? - Matts Story

Date Published 11 November 2019

Matt reflects on his first week in training... with some school boy errors!

I was sat at home reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson and read the line 'Imagine that somebody puts a gun to your head and tells you that you have to run 26.2 miles in under five hours, or else he'll kill you and your entire family.' I think you'll agree this isn't a great thought and whilst no one has put a gun to my head I have, for some bizarre reason, decided to partake in my first marathon and there's one question I cannot answer – Why?! I'm sure once I (hopefully) cross the finish line I'll still be asking that very same question, just a little more breathlessly.
As a novice runner, it seems every time I complete my longest run and go that little bit farther, I learn something new. I recently finished my first 10 mile run and as the soft computerised voice talked over my music 'Distance: 10 miles, Time: one hour thirty minutes' a wave of relief washed over my entire body and I slowly came a halt on the rain-soaked seafront promenade. The relief wasn't because my legs hurt and I could now collapse and rest, it wasn't because I was wetter than an otter's pocket and would now be able to dry off, it was because I knew I'd soon be back home and able to Google 'how to soothe searing nipple pain after running'. My Google search returned many helpful suggestions, and some very weird ones (including images that will haunt me for life), but a liberal application of Vaseline seemed to be the most common answer. Before reaching for a tub of petroleum jelly I thought I'd quickly hop in the shower – This was a HUGE mistake. Quite why I hadn't realised that hot water plus red raw nipples would equal excruciating pain I don't know, but I didn't, and it does. I jumped out of the shower like a scalded cat and sat in the bathroom, a quivering wreck, with that unanswered question running (yes, pun intended) through my mind again – Why?
Maybe over the next few months I'll find the answer. In the meantime, if you'd like to share your reasons why then please do.